Okay, here’s where we’re at with my neighbor’s dog:
There’s mostly good news, not the least of which is the dog himself has matured somewhat beyond the puppy stage, which doesn’t really mean he barks less, per se, but that the episodes do not last quite as long. What I mean is, when he first got here, he’s see another dog pass by and woof at him. Now, your average dog will woof for awhile and stop. Not my friend. 20 to 40 minutes later (I once clocked him, no kidding, at over 70 minutes) he’s still complaining about this passing dog, who was, by then, long gone. Cody does that far less frequently now. He’ll usually shut up after five to ten minutes, only railing on on those rare occasions.

Another neighbor, tiring of our childish bickering, called the dog’s owner (who is offended by my referring to him as Dog Man, and for winch I apologize as he now reads this blog; I meant no insult by “Dog Man,” other than, literally, shorthand for “The Man Who Owns The Dog”) and I to a summit where this neighbor negotiated a peace treaty between us. I made the guy what I considered the ultimate deal: if he would keep his dog quiet—not inside, I never asked him to keep the dog inside, just keep him quiet—on my two days off (Saturday and Monday), then he could do whatever he wanted for the other five days of the week.

Five days for two, I thought was a god deal. And, for many months, it was. If I was going out on those days, I’d call my neighbor and tell him he didn’t need to keep the dog inside that day since I wouldn’t be home anyway. We did the courtesy call thing and time management thing, and life was good. Then, over the course of some months, little by little, the armistice began to splinter.

Now, since I do not own a dog and therefore can’t break the deal, there’s only one party who can. On several of “my” days, he started letting the dog out longer and longer, usually supervising him (which is no problem for me), but occasionally not supervising the animal or leaving, driving off and leaving the dog unattended on days when we both agreed there would be No Woofing. Usually my neighbor would later apologize, saying he screwed upon the days or forgot he’d left the dog out when he went back to work—no big deal.

Until recently, when, on a Saturday, he got in his van and drove off, leaving the dog woofing outside my window. And woofing. And woofing. And woooooofing. I called over and left him a message, “maybe you forgot today is Saturday, but please honor your agreement.” The guy comes home, calls me back, and just lays into me. And, when he gets riled up, there’s no talking to him: he’s one of those guys who never lets you get a word in edgewise, you just stand there, waiting, while he’s talking and talking and talking and talking—like his dog. And, when you finally do wedge in half a sentence, he cuts you off and starts talking and talking and talking and talking and accusing me of this and complaining about my lawn and al of that—

—none of which has anything to do with the fact WE HAD A DEAL and HE’s the one who broke it.

So, I apologized for calling him told him I wouldn’t bother him anymore. And now we’re back to the bad old days, with this guy rallying the neighbors about what a bad man I am and how cruel I am and how I hate his dog or whatever. It’s just insane.

He seems to be now again honoring our schedule, but only when it suits him. I’ve been too busy to focus on the problem one way or the other. But it’s three years and counting that I’ve been dealing with this. I really like this guy, I really do. Before he got this dog we had zero, I mean zero, problems or conflicts. And I’ve been reluctant to take action against him because (1) this is not how God wants us to live or treat our neighbor. And (2) this is not what a friend does to a friend.

But, I’m sadly concluding this guy is not my friend. He’s just some guy who lives next door. Dumping your huge, barkity-bark dog in the yard and driving away is about the most unfathomably selfish act a person can do. It would be as if I turned my stereo up full blast, set my speakers facing his bedroom, and drove away. It is EXACTLY the same thing.

Neighbor: this blog isn’t written to you, is not intended for you. But if you show up here, being nosy or trying to find dirt to spread around on me, you bought your ticket for this. And, call me all the names you want, I’ve spent three years putting up with this crap. This is nothing, not one thing, about me: I never bother you, I never bug you, I don’t own a dog who barks outside your bedroom. This is all about you being a jerk. And, for my part, it’s all about me being a Christian. For, were I not a Christian—as you have so repeatedly accused me—I’d have taken care of this a long time ago. Be my friend or don’t, but I expect you to honor your deal.