I keep seeing more and more people wandering around with those insipid (and now ubiquitous) Bluetooth ear pieces. Mind you, if you’re in your car, riding your bike, hiking, jogging or, okay, even if you are actually *talking* on the *phone,* I don’t really mind if you use the thing. It’s your head—if you want to look silly, so be it (and, yes, I acquiesce to the safety issue in cars).
But, if you’re in a restaurant, in a church, in somebody’s home—take it out. People wearing these things while, essentially, waiting for a phone call just look like morons (no offense to anyone here, of course). They look like Pod People drones from some bad sci-fi schlock film, wandering the earth with this blinking light in their ear.
I’ve been trying to figure this out, and the best idea I can come up with is people seem to think these things make them look cool (wrong). Or, in terms of black folks, that they make them look affluent (wrong) as it signals that they have a wireless phone (no longer a status symbol: any chimp can have a wireless phone nowadays, and Verizon has just put out the once-status symbol RZR as a cheapie pay-as-you-go phone).
Since cell phones are no longer status symbols, I can’t begin to imagine why people would want to walk around with these things jammed in their ears. Why people might feel that their incoming calls are so vital, so earth-shockingly important, that they absolutely must have this thing jutting out of the side of their heads at all times.
Seeing worshippers in church services with these things on makes me wonder, seriously, why they came. And I’m just plain embarrassed to be out at a restaurant with a friend who is blinking. It makes me feel that my conversation supply isn’t engaging enough, that he or she has to have another conversation on standby in case ours goes south.
Shouldn’t there be some kind of Bluetooth etiquette? Some book that tells us the Emily Post do’s and don’ts of jamming thinks into our face?
In the case of black folks, I have another layer of enmity towards these devices. I hate them the same way I hate shiny, loud suits, baseball caps turned sideways (seriously, stop it already), and those hideous Chrysler 300 fake Bentleys with loud chrome wheels. Hang me high as you want, I despise stuff that makes us look like niggers. Like sheer idiots trying to seem worldly, trying to bling. Desperate to be seen and to prove we have cash flow. Anybody ever see how Bill Gates dresses? People with cash rarely feel the need to prove it. This guy down the street is renting a rather old and not-great house with a tore-up yard and in need of a paint job. But he’s got a 911 slope parked in the driveway.
Bluetooth headsets, worn as fashion accessories, set me off the same way diamond-studded gold teeth do. The same way ridiculous, loud suits, gangsta rap and bling-bling does. It feels like an indictment of my very breathing, as white folks, especially, don’t really sort out the Bluetooth wearers from the non-Bluetooth wearers. To many a hillbilly, we’re all Bluetooth wearers.
Mind you, I need to emphasize: if you’re actually talking on the phone, I don’t mind the earpiece at all. Looks a bit odd when you’re wandering thru Wal-Mart apparently talking to yourself, but other than that, who cares. But, unless you’re an astronaut sealed inside a pressure suit, keep your earpiece in your pocket until you’re *actually using it* for something. Otherwise, it just makes you look stoopit.
20 Comments
Easy. Wearing it makes the statement, "I am an Important Person, who could get an Important Call at any time. My communications are far more important than whatever interaction I may be having with you little people."
scrawled by Dave Van Domelen | June 6, 2007 11:32 AM
Hey, Priest. I've been lurking on your site for about 2 years now and I don't know what made me jump up and respond to this one. All I can say is: AMEN. I actually went on a rant about this a couple of days ago while driving home with my wife, complaining about the apparent spike in schizophrenics walking around New York...oh, wait, they've got a Bluetooth...
scrawled by Rob P | June 6, 2007 12:31 PM
Well D@mn I'm guilty!!! I wear mine usually until my ear hurts (it goes on the inside and not around my ear) I put it in my pocket but the my pocket randomly calls people I know. At work I put my BT in my protective ears muffs and people think I'n really crazy when I'm on the phone. I like the convience but I wish it had a standy by mode so I could tuck it away and use it when I'm ready until then I'll try not to lose it when I take it off and try to keep my pocket from calling Uganda
scrawled by mdwaire | June 6, 2007 2:56 PM
Sorry Priest, but racists and African Americans who can't deal with other African Americans that don't live up to some arbitrary Western standards are going to think those types are niggers anyway. Today's 300 was yesterday's Caddy. What did niggers look like before sideways caps, flashy cars and gold teeth anyway?
scrawled by Shaun G, | June 6, 2007 3:48 PM
I admit to liking the blinking blue light in a neat sci=fi, look at the red light on the borg, kinda way!.
But you should check out the New Doctor Who Season 2 Episode, Rise of the Cybermen, to learn the true badness those things can cause.
scrawled by Scavenger | June 6, 2007 5:10 PM
"But you should check out the New Doctor Who Season 2 Episode, Rise of the Cybermen, to learn the true badness those things can cause."
And why you NEVER EVER TAKE THEM OFF.
As to the main point, that's a common phenomenon. My girlfriend came from a solidly working-class family, whose father was always trying to 'make it'. He was so obsessed with it that he didn't want to wait... and so every time one of his schemes made money, they moved to a richer neighbourhood, got a better car... then had to sell it all when the business collapsed because he'd sunk the money into the house instead of into the business. Their kids went to private school, they had three TVs (that they never turned off), the latest games consoles...
My family had money. I went to a state school, we had one TV, no games console. I didn't have my own computer until I moved out and bought it for myself. But because we had money, our lack of that stuff was obviously because of choice. Had their family lacked that stuff, well, it would have been seen that it was because they couldn't afford it.
It's exactly like you say. Confusing appearance with reality.
scrawled by James Carman | June 6, 2007 6:34 PM
Let the Church say....AMEN!
scrawled by Gavri_El | June 6, 2007 7:12 PM
Bluetooth as fashion accessory or status symbol? Good grief, has it come to that? Bluetooths are on sale all the time at various stores, sometimes as low as $39. I fail to see how it could be an indicator of financial health when they are (relatively) inexpensive and accessible to a working adult. I forget that I'm wearing the Bluetooth, often I am wandering thru a store oblivious to the fact that it's on my head, and the phone is in the car. My phone doesn't ring often enough, and the calls are never important enough, to inflict my conversations upon strangers. In the state that I live in (Connecticut), it's illegal to use a cell phone without a hands-free device, however that hasn't stopped many drivers from holding it to their ear (or balancing the phone on their shoulder) while driving.
scrawled by Anonymous | June 7, 2007 11:07 AM
Dawgone it, thought I'd be able to go a whole post without comment.
But...Hillbillies? Do you mean Bigots? Racists? I didn't know the words were interchangeable. Must be the dumb Polock in me.
As for shiny suits - I wish I could pull them off. I don't have the complexion to stand up to them. It's like a pink shirt - they look great on someone with dark hair or deeper complexion (aka "Brown People" or the majority of the world population) but your average pasty norder just looks pastier in them.
scrawled by greg zywicki | June 7, 2007 11:32 AM
I'm still making up my mind as whether or not I actually need a cell phone...and still coming up with "not just yet" for an answer. And most of the models of cell phone on the market stand out as either "too many bells and whistles", "not wanted by the boss at the day job" or "just plain intrusive to have on my person" right now.
So this? Not for me any time soon.
scrawled by Dwight Williams | June 7, 2007 8:29 PM
Shaun wrote: “…racists and African Americans who can't deal with other African Americans that don't live up to some arbitrary Western standards…”
I think you’re being way too narrow. It’s not that I can’t deal with other African Americans. I can’t deal with ANYBODY. Limiting it to skin color is to misunderstand me: I have an absolute right to think people who act like idiots are idiots, regardless of race or ethnicity. I’m stopped at a light yesterday and there’s this Buick or something sitting there waiting for the light to change—but his wheels are still turning. And, I thought to myself, this person (man, woman, ape) looks like an idiot.
That’s my opinion. And I’m entitled to it. It is, frankly, all I have in this world that is truly and completely mine: my point of view. Being shushed out of your own point of view is really evil.
I am not holding blacks to some Western standard. I have no idea the ethnicity of the driver of that Idiotmobile. I’m just sure they looked stoopit. Believe me, I dislike Paris Hilton as much as I dislike Flava Flav.
Anonymous wrote: “I forget that I'm wearing the Bluetooth, often I am wandering thru a store oblivious to the fact that it's on my head, and the phone is in the car.” BWAAHAHAHAHA! Y’know, I hadn’t even THOUGHT of that—people walking around with these things and they’re not even connected to anything! Ha!
Dwight: I really think there’s a market for the JustPhone. A sleek, elegant, well-designed device tat simply makes telephone calls. I think the intrusive GPS thing is evil (the telecom companies apparently deciding they have a right to now where you are at all times), and the rest of that nonsense is just junk marketed to kids who run up their parents’ bills.
Anything even close to a JustPhone is a cheap, plastic-looking toy no grown-up would want. But the phone manufacturers likely would never build a Just Phone because the carriers wouldn’t sell it: the carriers are trying to sell you stuff.
Nightmare scenario: a friend told me last night he’d specifically instructed his carrier to NOT add service thus and so to his kid’s phone, and they added it anyway. And the kid—knowing he wasn’t supposed to use those service, like watching TV on his phone—watched TV on his phone. Watched $500 worth of TV on his phone. Which makes me want to sue the company and drown the kid (btw: that would have been the end of his cell phone).
I have a RZR. I make very few and very brief calls on it. Cingular *hates* me because my minutes roll over every month and my bill is exactly the same because I don’t use any bells or whistles whatsoever. I mean, it’s a *phone.*
And I don’t even *own* a BT headset.
scrawled by priest | June 8, 2007 9:40 AM
If you think these people are idiots why not say that instead of calling them niggers? You're Black, you disagree with something other Blacks are doing, so you call them niggers. Obviously, you're making a distinction between them and you, and using one of the worse words to do it.
Of course, you're entitled to your opinion and in my opinion using that word makes your whole argument meaningless.
Honestly, I'm so sick of the whole Black people vs. niggers bs that we as Black people do. It doesn't improve our situation at all. Okay so you have the common sense to not have spinners on your caddy. I'm really happy for you.
scrawled by Shaun G | June 8, 2007 9:10 PM
I actually have a JustPhone. I bought an upgrade about 3 years ago from my Dad's old (7 year old) cell phone. I could care less about pictures and what not, I even set the ringer to as close to a telephone ring as possible. The only extra it has is text messaging which I never use. It's not even a flip phone.
SO, they do (or did) make them, they're just hard to find.
scrawled by Matthew K | June 9, 2007 7:57 PM
Every Generation has its Stupid Pants.
Also, text messaging can be a nice feature. I can send texts from my computer to customers, letting them know when a job is done. Or to someone in a meeting, giving them info without being intrusive.
Phone to phone texting compares unfavorably to smoke signals, however.
scrawled by greg zywicki | June 11, 2007 8:01 AM
Off topic.
Hey Chris. Andy Schmidt is leaving Marvel editorial to start writing freelance. Would you be interested in filling the editorial spot?
scrawled by Tony | June 12, 2007 9:11 AM
You know, the whole 'Blacks vs Niggers' thing is something I encounter a lot. Yes, I'm white, whatever bearing that has on it.
I work security for a variety of properties down here in Atlanta. Invariably, the only properties that -need- security are the lower income properties, which include poor people, criminals, and people struggling to make it.
I worked at this one apartment complex in Stone Mountain, and I worked the 2-10 shift, which meant I was in contact with a -lot- of children. Why? Well, they were getting out of school, parents are at work or as a black co-worker claimed 'too busy trying to get high or get laid' to watch over thier kids. I got a lot of stories, but this one is somewhat salient to my point.
I'm chatting with the kids, because kids are my primary form of getting information on drug dealers, vandals, miscreants and the like. Kids are all black. I'm white. Kids really have no problem talking to me until they hit middle school. In grade school, shit, kids will be talking football, WWE, Spider-man, all sorts of shit. They haven't learned to hate white people. Some have, but not all. To quote Homer Simpson, 'Kids are great, you can teach them to hate what you hate'. So we're talking, and this little girl is suddenly going "I'm a nigger."
"What?" I reply. Now keep in mind. I'm of the post-Civil Rights, black people are supposed to have this inherent nobility because people who were born before me were mean, cruel, racists who kept the black man down, mentality. It's been drummed into me by society, the patronizing textbooks, and the threat of getting my ass kicked by some black dudes if I -ever- say the word 'nigger'. I even feel bad singing along with Wu-Tang. 'Nigger' is a bad word. A stupid word. A word used by the ignorant trying to blame other people for thier problems.
"I'm a nigger!" she repeated.
"Honey, you can't say that..."
"Why not, that's what I am!" she replied, as though I was some sort of moron, and skipped off to go play.
Now, you may not think much of this, but for me, it reinforces the idea that the problem in America today isn't so much race as it is culture. Kids are kids, I've learned (I used to work as a schoolbus driver when I got out of the Army), no matter where you go, no matter what color they are. Kids are kids and they'll wave at you if you wave at them, and if you ask them how school was they'll tell you and they like Spider-man and ice cream and like to sing songs and shit. Kids are fucking kids.
But they also live what they learn. No black child is a nigger. No fucking black child ever was born a nigger - it's impossible. A child is a child. An open receptacle for learning. No, they learn that they're niggers, or they're low class, that it's okay to underachieve, to look up to these scumbag assholes in the community wearing colors and think 'Hey, that's what my role models are'. Conversely, they can also learn that they're special, unique individuals who don't have to live a stereotype, they can learn that learning isn't something to look down your nose at, they can learn not to act like trash.
They learn to inherit a culture of failure. And I feel horrible for thinking that, I feel horrible even typing the word 'nigger' because I, quite frankly, associate that word with ignorant redneck trash.
I can even pinpoint the children who associate themselves as niggers and the ones who associate themselves as black. The black children speak differently. They still use the same slang, but they speak differently. They're pretty responsible, as far as children go. Not saying they're the Magical Negro of the playground set, but they're generally better behaved. The kids who associate themselves as niggers are the ones always in trouble, because Mom's got a man over, or she's at work and all they've got is the little jerks in the neighborhood to hang around with until 9pm when Mom gets home.
Ok, I got sidetracked. I can ramble when it comes to kids because I see so much of them. I think I watch over them more than thier parents do, and that saddens me.
Anyway. What's the difference, then, between a black kid and a white kid? None, other than the ephemeral physical ones. No, the major differences come in how they're socialized. So, and you may disagree, I feel it extends all the way into adult life. There is no difference between a redneck trailer park cracker and the ghettoest of ghetto black people, or the stereotypical Mexican. Likewise, there's no -real- difference between the white collar black man and the white collar white man. Who would you rather sell you a car? A black guy who speaks English, is in a nice suit, informative, knowledgable, polite? Or some white trash dude with a mullet and a Lynard Skynard t-shirt with the sleeves cut off?
I think that we as a culture don't take any subculture that tries to separate itself from mainstream culture seriously. The redneck lifestyle, the 'nigger' lifestyle, the 'I don't want to learn English' Hispanic lifestyle, the 'I don't want to learn English and I don't want to integrate' lifestyle of many an Asian family I've seen. That, I think, is the real problem. While I'm not stupid enough to think that racism doesn't exist, because it does (and on all sides of the spectrum, God knows the black folks I work around distrust me and some actively express thier dislike for me because I drive around in a car that looks like a cop cruiser and I'm white), I think the main problem in America today is that these subcultures (redneck/poor white/'urban'/Hispanic/Asian - Indian, I don't see a lot of. They don't present themselves to be radically divergent. They just seem to want to be successful, and judging from a lot of well-to-do Indian families I've met, they do it very well) present themselves as hostile to the mainstream, they want to be separate, and disparage any attempt at integration. I could hazard a guess as to why, but I've already rambled on enough.
But that is what I think is the core of the 'Black People vs Niggers' debate. Black people want to be just that. People. Just like everyone else. The 'nigger' to them, inspires the same loathing that I feel about trailer trash (god knows I have enough in my family). Low expectations, manipulative, ignorant, and you feel ashamed of them because they, for better or worse, are the ones that get the most attention. You don't want to be associated with these assholes because you're not like them. You're not ignorant, you can think for yourself, etc, etc. Maybe they remind you of something in your past you'd rather forget. Whatever the reason, you feel they bring you down, that when you meet someone they're going to automatically associate you with the morons in the ghetto or in the trailer park or the barrio, and usually, hey, that's not a good connotation. I know I don't want to be mistaken for a cracker-ass piece of white trash, waiting around for a law-suit, with my car up on blocks and the cops on thier way to respond to a domestic call to my house. I'm sure that goes for every person, black, white, Hispanic, asian, whatever. It's the culture, not the color, that you don't want to be associated with.
Wow. I need to get to bed. But yeah, those are my thoughts on the matter.
scrawled by Sam | June 16, 2007 5:16 AM
There's now a Transformers toy that turns into an MP3 player (non-functional) with a bluetooth headset/microphone (also nonfunctional, presumably for pretend dictation), so kids can play at being Decepticon Vulcans.
scrawled by Dave Van Domelen | June 18, 2007 11:40 AM
Matthew: I hate ringtones. I hate ALL RINGTONES. Samsung phones used to have an option where it just beeped once, like a Star Trek communicator. That was the absolute best.
Tony: no, going back to editing would require relocating back to New York. And hell hasn’t quite frozen over yet. When/if the publishers ever start allowing editors to work from home, they’d discover and enormous talent pool, seasoned, and, likely, less expensive than bodies in the building. If I can do it from here, I’d love to. But, so far as I know, the policy remains that all editorial work be done on-site.
Taking the black thing to a new thread...
scrawled by priest | June 21, 2007 9:21 AM
Priest, don't get me started on ringtones. They annoy the heck out of me. I just want my phone to be a phone not some all in one crappy gadget.
To rant a little, I'm currently studying for the bar exam (I'm taking a small break right now) and you would not believe the number of people who cannot have the common decency to turn off their ringer in the library (even worse, the ones who talk on the phones in the library). It makes me sad. I was taught to have a little respect for my fellow man and it floors me that these people can just let their phones ring and ring and never realize that they should but the phone on vibrate or just turn it off.
scrawled by Matthew K | June 22, 2007 6:30 PM
I use a classical music ringtone for calls from family, on the grounds that I want something to tell me instantly that if I'm getting a call while at work, it's from them and I probably should answer this (I set this back when both grandmas were in the 'could go any time' phase...both have since passed, but back then any call in the middle of the day from famiily was likely to be "Grandma died.").
scrawled by David Van Domelen | June 23, 2007 10:00 AM